yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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