im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
