Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize