Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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