the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
