i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
