we have officially mastered the walk of shame
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
