STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
