I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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