we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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