Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
