every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
