The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
