Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
