my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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