C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
