I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Mom said you looked used
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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