Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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