he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
