You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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