Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hippo gnu deer
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
