i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
