so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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