U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
