I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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