sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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