I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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