please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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