never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
