You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
