I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
