Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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