I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
