What a fucking waste of an outfit
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
