I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
