You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
