didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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