Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
