he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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