We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
