I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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