I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
