Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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