please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
