you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
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Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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