im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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