Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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