Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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