I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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