Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
