just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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