There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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