Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
