So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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