well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
