apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
