In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
