new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
