we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
