i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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