im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
