I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
cat food counts as protein by the way
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
