Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
