I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
